I get bored easily. Instead of doing something productive (such as homework for my newly started course), I sometimes create elaborate stories for the sole purpose of trying to get someone to believe that they are true.
Example: Today I called my sisted and, in a semi-freaked out tone, told her that I had been doing landscaping for my dad in the backyard of his house. I stated that I was digging a deepish hole to plant a big shrub between the border of our lawn and some woods behind it when all of a sudden I cracked through some weird, thin layer of plywood or something similar.
I went on to say that a hole about 2 feet deep opened up once I removed some debris and that I found a small, human-shaped skull at the bottom of the hole, surrounded by a border of rocks laid out in a square shape. I asked her if I should call the police or what while Lindsey wondered aloud whether or not the people who lived here before us had a baby that died and secretly buried it back there.
So, she believed me.
It was fun.
You might be next.
Monday, May 28, 2007
Friday, May 25, 2007
Lack of Color
Alright, so I watch The O.C. now and, contrary to my initial opinions on any series sucking that takes place in Orange County, CA but that doesn't showcase ska music at all, I like it. My reasoning is simple: everytime Seth Cohen comes on, it is like I am watching a Jewish version of myself. Really, it is fascinating. He's Matt junior with an afro and better writers.
Society should change so that I can hang out and travel now and then just work once I'm on the downward slope towards the afterlife, which I really hope has cherry-flavored Pez. If it doesn't... maybe I'll try to figure out how to make that 100 virgins thing happen for me. Beats a lack of Pez candies, right?
I'm ready for a new tattoo. Read Catch 22, digest it and then you'll know why I want the red running figure from the book cover on me in a permanent fashion. Yossarian away!
In my class of 11 people, there were two attractive girls on Day 1. Now, there is just one. WTF, mate indeed.
Sometimes I think that I'll never accomplish or do anything even semi-extraordinary. It's depressing. "Big plans, big crash-- why be different when you can't be yourself?" says Less Than Jake. They got me pegged, even back in the 90's I was all show and no go.
The song "One Tin Soldier" is amazing and really should become the national anthem of Sealand (note: One can learn all about amazing Sealand, which is not at all like Sea World, in an earlier post of mind-- just peruse past subject titles and you'll be $).
Society should change so that I can hang out and travel now and then just work once I'm on the downward slope towards the afterlife, which I really hope has cherry-flavored Pez. If it doesn't... maybe I'll try to figure out how to make that 100 virgins thing happen for me. Beats a lack of Pez candies, right?
I'm ready for a new tattoo. Read Catch 22, digest it and then you'll know why I want the red running figure from the book cover on me in a permanent fashion. Yossarian away!
In my class of 11 people, there were two attractive girls on Day 1. Now, there is just one. WTF, mate indeed.
Sometimes I think that I'll never accomplish or do anything even semi-extraordinary. It's depressing. "Big plans, big crash-- why be different when you can't be yourself?" says Less Than Jake. They got me pegged, even back in the 90's I was all show and no go.
The song "One Tin Soldier" is amazing and really should become the national anthem of Sealand (note: One can learn all about amazing Sealand, which is not at all like Sea World, in an earlier post of mind-- just peruse past subject titles and you'll be $).
Monday, May 7, 2007
I absolutely loved this book.
Preface: Please do not steal this book review for any kind of school assignment-- that would be a jerkish move to make, really.
The Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic, and Madness at the Fair that Changed America
By: Erik Larson
Erik Larson, author of the acclaimed “Isaac’s Storm” and “Lethal Passage,” precedes his masterful nonfiction work with the following note: “Beneath the gore and smoke and loam, this book is about the evanescence of life, and why some men choose to fill their brief allotment of time engaging the impossible, others in the manufacture of sorrow. In the end it is a story of the ineluctable conflict between good and evil, daylight and darkness, the White City and the Black.”
Larson’s plot is quite broad in its scope, though the underlying canvas upon which he paints his story consists of the conception, construction and celebration of the “fair that changed America.” The exposition brought an unlimited amount of opportunity to Chicago- many took advantage of it, though in different ways. Fame was earned through buildings, business ventures… and murder.
Bringing Chicago to life in brilliant fashion, Larson recounts the World’s Columbian Exposition that was hosted by the Windy City in 1893. The tale, however macabre and magnificent at times, is entirely true and requires no embellishment to make it both fascinating and frightening. Larson’s epic tale revolves primarily around two men, both harboring great talents and ambitions though they stand on opposite ends of the moral spectrum.
Daniel Burnham, famed architect and socialite, is charged with overseeing the construction and design of the World’s Fair that is to be hosted by Chicago. The challenges are daunting and the time allotted maybe five years too few, but Burnham’s drive to not only succeed but to top the fair hosted by Paris only a few years before fuels the formation of his “White City.” Upon Burnham’s back was the weight of the world as all eyes and criticisms were focused squarely on the impossibility of his undertaking. As Larson hints, even those most supportive of the plans must have been somewhat surprised that everything actually came to fruition.
While Burnham’s story in itself is intriguing enough to make “Devil” a bestseller and an addicting read, the events surrounding Dr. H. H. Holmes (real name Dr. Herman Webster Mudgett) are just as engrossing. The Chicago Times-Herald described him quite aptly, writing “He is a prodigy of wickedness, a human demon, a being so unthinkable that no novelist would dare to invent such a character.” While I will avoid giving too much information away, Holmes is likened to Jack the Ripper though, as Larson so eloquently highlights time and again, he is much more calculated and brilliant in carrying out his perverse, haunting acts.
Although the author's focal point is on the larger-than-life characters that were Burnham and Holmes, the backdrop of this novel was simply wonderful. Chicago witnessed unbelievable sights during the fair: The rise of the first Ferris wheel; full-size replicas of Columbus’s fleet in Lake Michigan; a record breaking one-day attendance of almost one million people; the heartbeat of a country and city embodied by the drive and efforts of a few great men. People wept at the sight of the fair. One could spend an entire day in just one building marveling at the sights. Entire villages were brought over from places as remote as Africa and Asia, complete with goats and buildings. As sad as I am that I missed what was perhaps the grandest spectacle ever to exist in modern times, the detail exhibited in Larson’s writing gives me some consolation and is most assuredly the next best thing to having been there in person.
This novel is utterly fantastic in its scope and content. Larson paints a grand picture through the utilization of quotes, first-person sources and newspaper articles. The fact that the entire story is true is overshadowed only by how well and seamlessly Larson puts together the menagerie that was Chicago’s World Fair. To give Larson anything less than a 10 out of 10 for this captivating read would be an obvious mistake. Read it once, digest the story, then read it once more.
By: Erik Larson
Erik Larson, author of the acclaimed “Isaac’s Storm” and “Lethal Passage,” precedes his masterful nonfiction work with the following note: “Beneath the gore and smoke and loam, this book is about the evanescence of life, and why some men choose to fill their brief allotment of time engaging the impossible, others in the manufacture of sorrow. In the end it is a story of the ineluctable conflict between good and evil, daylight and darkness, the White City and the Black.”
Larson’s plot is quite broad in its scope, though the underlying canvas upon which he paints his story consists of the conception, construction and celebration of the “fair that changed America.” The exposition brought an unlimited amount of opportunity to Chicago- many took advantage of it, though in different ways. Fame was earned through buildings, business ventures… and murder.
Bringing Chicago to life in brilliant fashion, Larson recounts the World’s Columbian Exposition that was hosted by the Windy City in 1893. The tale, however macabre and magnificent at times, is entirely true and requires no embellishment to make it both fascinating and frightening. Larson’s epic tale revolves primarily around two men, both harboring great talents and ambitions though they stand on opposite ends of the moral spectrum.
Daniel Burnham, famed architect and socialite, is charged with overseeing the construction and design of the World’s Fair that is to be hosted by Chicago. The challenges are daunting and the time allotted maybe five years too few, but Burnham’s drive to not only succeed but to top the fair hosted by Paris only a few years before fuels the formation of his “White City.” Upon Burnham’s back was the weight of the world as all eyes and criticisms were focused squarely on the impossibility of his undertaking. As Larson hints, even those most supportive of the plans must have been somewhat surprised that everything actually came to fruition.
While Burnham’s story in itself is intriguing enough to make “Devil” a bestseller and an addicting read, the events surrounding Dr. H. H. Holmes (real name Dr. Herman Webster Mudgett) are just as engrossing. The Chicago Times-Herald described him quite aptly, writing “He is a prodigy of wickedness, a human demon, a being so unthinkable that no novelist would dare to invent such a character.” While I will avoid giving too much information away, Holmes is likened to Jack the Ripper though, as Larson so eloquently highlights time and again, he is much more calculated and brilliant in carrying out his perverse, haunting acts.
Although the author's focal point is on the larger-than-life characters that were Burnham and Holmes, the backdrop of this novel was simply wonderful. Chicago witnessed unbelievable sights during the fair: The rise of the first Ferris wheel; full-size replicas of Columbus’s fleet in Lake Michigan; a record breaking one-day attendance of almost one million people; the heartbeat of a country and city embodied by the drive and efforts of a few great men. People wept at the sight of the fair. One could spend an entire day in just one building marveling at the sights. Entire villages were brought over from places as remote as Africa and Asia, complete with goats and buildings. As sad as I am that I missed what was perhaps the grandest spectacle ever to exist in modern times, the detail exhibited in Larson’s writing gives me some consolation and is most assuredly the next best thing to having been there in person.
This novel is utterly fantastic in its scope and content. Larson paints a grand picture through the utilization of quotes, first-person sources and newspaper articles. The fact that the entire story is true is overshadowed only by how well and seamlessly Larson puts together the menagerie that was Chicago’s World Fair. To give Larson anything less than a 10 out of 10 for this captivating read would be an obvious mistake. Read it once, digest the story, then read it once more.
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Life on Stand-By
Alright, so let me weave a little story really quickly:
I am signed up for an Anatomy & Physiology course at Northwestern Health Sciences University in Bloomington, MN that began on May 1st... or so I thought. After battling horrible traffic from Rogers to the Penn Ave. Exit (30 mkiles in 1.2 hours = please slit my wrists instead of ever having to do that again), I arrived at the school and found my way to the classroom-- M26. I was 10 minutes early, no one was around adn the lights weren't even on. I choose a primo seat and just waited... and waited... and then left.
After reviewing my class schedule, I found some random sheet that I thought only stated where each class was, but it actually had adjusted times and start dates on it. Turns out I don't have school until May 22nd... so, I was 3 weeks 10 minutes early for my first day of school.
Because of that faux pax, my days are a little more... open? Yes. Basically, I am now a bum with no job, no prospects and no class 2x a week until May 22nd. Because of this, I feel it would be fun to descfibe my typical day for ya'll... well, Prom and McCarty, and maybe Jackie if she reads this (and Jackie, if you do-- send me that word document I wrote on your computer-- mjhoffman37@gmail.com).
Here we go:
Wake up: I always set my alarm for about 9:00AM, though I readjust it multiple times every morning until it gets to be about 10:30. After that, I stroll downstairs and watch the last 1/2 of The Price Is Right because I enjoy heckling the contestants and making fun of the horrible actors-gone-"beauties" that showcase things like dog food and stripped down Ford Rangers.
I have started watching the O.C. religiously at 1Pm, which is always fun. I hope I caught it at the beginning of the series (was that psych Oliver kid in the 1st season? You know, the guy who punches himself in the head and freaks out all the time?).
Soccer is basically my bread and butter. I decided to play for a Division 4 team as well as my old Division 2 team since I really have nothing else to do. I really need to find some kind of accomodation in or around Bloomington soon, if only temporary...
One nice thing about the last few weeks is that there have been lots of family dinners. My aunt came in from L.A./ San Diego and that was a 2-for-1 since we went out twice. I also eat dinner at my grandma's on Wednesdays.
This post has been shitty, so go Emeril on you and kick it up a notch-- BAM!
I am going to begin homebrewing beer. And, no, it is not going to be half-assed and terrible. I've got a few good books and, like I said, lots of free time to make this happen. My first beer will be a brown ale called "Big Bear Brown Ale" followed by "Ska-Punk Stout" and the (well, soon to be) immensely popular "Mopeds Are for Heroes Maibock."
If you are nice to me, I'll give you a bottle. Remember, as the ABV will be around 8.5-9.5% for the aforementioned beers, they are siutable for cellaring and aging.
I am signed up for an Anatomy & Physiology course at Northwestern Health Sciences University in Bloomington, MN that began on May 1st... or so I thought. After battling horrible traffic from Rogers to the Penn Ave. Exit (30 mkiles in 1.2 hours = please slit my wrists instead of ever having to do that again), I arrived at the school and found my way to the classroom-- M26. I was 10 minutes early, no one was around adn the lights weren't even on. I choose a primo seat and just waited... and waited... and then left.
After reviewing my class schedule, I found some random sheet that I thought only stated where each class was, but it actually had adjusted times and start dates on it. Turns out I don't have school until May 22nd... so, I was 3 weeks 10 minutes early for my first day of school.
Because of that faux pax, my days are a little more... open? Yes. Basically, I am now a bum with no job, no prospects and no class 2x a week until May 22nd. Because of this, I feel it would be fun to descfibe my typical day for ya'll... well, Prom and McCarty, and maybe Jackie if she reads this (and Jackie, if you do-- send me that word document I wrote on your computer-- mjhoffman37@gmail.com).
Here we go:
Wake up: I always set my alarm for about 9:00AM, though I readjust it multiple times every morning until it gets to be about 10:30. After that, I stroll downstairs and watch the last 1/2 of The Price Is Right because I enjoy heckling the contestants and making fun of the horrible actors-gone-"beauties" that showcase things like dog food and stripped down Ford Rangers.
I have started watching the O.C. religiously at 1Pm, which is always fun. I hope I caught it at the beginning of the series (was that psych Oliver kid in the 1st season? You know, the guy who punches himself in the head and freaks out all the time?).
Soccer is basically my bread and butter. I decided to play for a Division 4 team as well as my old Division 2 team since I really have nothing else to do. I really need to find some kind of accomodation in or around Bloomington soon, if only temporary...
One nice thing about the last few weeks is that there have been lots of family dinners. My aunt came in from L.A./ San Diego and that was a 2-for-1 since we went out twice. I also eat dinner at my grandma's on Wednesdays.
This post has been shitty, so go Emeril on you and kick it up a notch-- BAM!
I am going to begin homebrewing beer. And, no, it is not going to be half-assed and terrible. I've got a few good books and, like I said, lots of free time to make this happen. My first beer will be a brown ale called "Big Bear Brown Ale" followed by "Ska-Punk Stout" and the (well, soon to be) immensely popular "Mopeds Are for Heroes Maibock."
If you are nice to me, I'll give you a bottle. Remember, as the ABV will be around 8.5-9.5% for the aforementioned beers, they are siutable for cellaring and aging.
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