Is life is indeed a sprint then I have one lap under my belt and three more to go. I am 25 on May 30th at 7:52PM and although the full gravity of the situation has yet to fully hit me, I am not too concerned about a number. I suppose that a quarter century of life experience is quite a bit considering that I feel like I'm still 15 sometimes, but if the old adage "you're as young as you feel" is any indicator of how long I'll desperately cling to life and those I care about here on Earth (cue a triumphant theme song!), I am not going anywhere for a very long time. Like Monica on Friends, I am scrappy. On a side note, the fact that I quote that show shows ya'll just how white I really am.
But anyway.
I love life and the possibilities it still holds for me. Travel, love, family, a successful acting career... these are the things I think about when I am alone sitting in my room. However, if I died today would I be happy? Would I be able to say that I have no significant regrets? Have I taken advantage of the opportunities and good things I've been afforded by the Creator or whoever decided to make me a middle-class white kid from Central MN?
The answer, most definitely, is a resolute "No!" I have not kissed as passionately as I would have liked, I've left too many projects, ideas and dreams unfinished or not even started on the figurative work table of my mind.
The thing is, everyone can always say that they want to do something. Sure, I want to write a book, travel more, learn Spanish and do a million other things. Now obviously some of the goals and aspirations I have are time-sensitive or at least not in the cards right now because of school, my house, etc. But STILL, what have I really done that I keep saying I want to do? The answer here is a depressing, "Not much."
My goal, which needs to be reached by the next May 30 on the calendar but hopefully much, much sooner, is to actually DO! instead of just want. I can learn Spanish (or at least get a good running start) before my next birthday. The same goes for raising money to help combat the West Nile Virus in Africa by buying bed nets for children (http://www.nothingbutnets.net/) and other things of that nature.
I WILL explore more, enjoy life to a higher degree, take time out to DO! exactly those things I keep putting off (including learning how to type properly). One of the saddest things is a life filled with regret and missed opportunity. I need to realize that I can't wait for things to happen TO me but rather that I need to MAKE them happen.
"Life, Laugh, Love" and all of those other slogans people put up in their homes, dorm rooms, rear-views, etc. really do make sense. Why not make this one shot we've got the best one possible? The table is set, sure, or you could say that my cards have been dealt. Whatever the terminology, none of us chooses the family or place we are born into. We don't get the luxury of deciding the Who, What, When, and Where of our lives but we do (yes, we do) get to decide the "Why."
To me, that "Why" is as valuable as anything else I've got. Am I going to make the most of every single second, day, week and so on? Or will I just maintain the pace and progress I've already got going for me? if there is anything unique about the American psyche, it is the fact that we, as a nation, are never satisfied. Big, bigger, BEST is what we are all about. A little ego- and ethno-centric, yes, but when applied to the individual it is exciting and exhilarating.
I WILL be the best I can be. I can give more, be more, feel more. Everything is there, one just needs to take advantage of the unique situation each life really is. My experiences, knowledge (i.e. lack thereof), relationships with people and family and friends, they all make me a completely unique state of existence.
The world can be a deep, dark depressing state. Herman Melville (of Moby Dick notoriety) once wrote "I am, as I am; whether hideous, or handsome, depends upon who is made judge." The fact is, we are all to be our own judge and jury while our hearts continue to beat. Each of us goes to bed each night knowing whether or not he or she made a difference, took a chance, were decent and kind to others.
"Sic transit gloria.... glory fades." We aren't guaranteed another year of life, let alone another minute. I want to say I put myself out there and did each and every single thing that I've talked about wanting to do. This is my quest and in the end, as I am walking alone to whatever afterlife or fate that has been sealed for me, I want to do so knowing that I tried to rock really hard at life.
Cheers. Prost. Slainte. Ahoy. Take a bow, good sir or madame.
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