"To sleep perchance to dream"

Other options for the title of this blog were:

1. "Dream of demons while you sleep/ Makes you stutter when you speak"

2. "Only in Dreams"

I like the one I chose because it was written by Shakespeare and gives the impression that I am part of the intelligentsia as opposed to the Simpsons-quote-alot-sia. Whew.

Alright, so I had a crazy dream last night even by my standards. I was in a situation reminiscent of CBS's hit show LOST sans the island and Jack. Kate was there though (audible purring noise... not from Suki but from me [on even more of an aside, I can't purr of grr or do any of those "bedroom"/"funny ways to hit on someone" noises.]) and I think she touched my knee, yowza. Anyway, there was running and shooting and other LOST-esqe things going on. I got nicked by a bullet in the calf and it really fired me up and helped me kill some of the Others because it damaged my Tupac Shakur calf tattoo (outlined by a barbed wire frame, obviously. Duh, even).

And then the craziness started... For some reason, I was in a contest that required everyone to eat a monkey brain in its entirety. Contrary to everything ever published in a gross anatomy text, the eyes were also part of the feast because they were directly connected to the brain. Why? I'll never know, since it was/is my dream and I know a thing or two about vasculature and innervation in the head. Also, insects have a head, abdomen and thorax. See? I'm well-rounded.

I was the last person to attempt to eat an entire brain. I won, but I feel a little guilty about the method in which I did so. I truly did eat the whole damn monkey brain, chased every so often with what I think was a blend of Dr. Slice (17/32 Dr. pepper, 15/32 Slice... used to exist back in the day and then was run out of town by those greedy bastards at Mr. Pibb. They got their comeuppance, though, and alas they are no more). However, the brain I was given was smaller than the others, had no eyes (for some reason they were yellow pustules for the other people) and it was also filled with unwrapped Starbursts. Lots of them... maybe some Lemonheads too, I'll never really know.

And then I woke up.

But hey, best idea for an invention EVER: A machine that tapes ones dreams as s/he sees them while asleep and records them for all of posterity. Talk about a potentially awesome experience-- there would be food, fun and fashion not to mention obscurity (moreso than is found here), horror, sexy times, and essentially the whole possible spectrum of human emotion, experience and candy. Lots of candy.

I would pay handsomely or even armsomely for a contraption like that. However, what if it showed us that we dream through our waking lives? That we are asleep when we think we are awake and awake when we think we are asleep. For example, what if upon viewing your dream for the first time you realized that it just showed you what you did the day prior? Sounds like a scary premise for a Groundhog's Day-like movie. Cue the dramatic, moody background music track... NOW!