Foot vs. Foot Collisions

Okay, this came to me while I was at work today making chocolate chip cookies for yuppies in Land Rovers (I can only assume).

Every frickin' time I come to a doorway, hallway or other area where one typically walks blindly through an opening, I feel like some speedwalking freak is going to smoke me in the side of the head... my left side, my sexier side. Obviously, this causes me great distress because as much as some of you might enjoy such random contact from strangers, i'm not really on that wagon per se.

As an avid walker (use 'em or lose 'em, legs I mean), I feel compelled to ask that the government install those weird circular mirrors that convenience stores and other high crime locales use so that people can see around corners and what the hell is lurking on the other side of doorways. Hell, this is probably a matter for Homeland Security. Let me explain...

If I get drafted by the Army or whatever and, by some stroke of luck or unluck or however you see it, get smoked in my hot face by some beast of a man with a mullet and a sixer of Pabst Blue mother frickin' Ribbon in his hand (added weight = added momentum = added force hurting my supple skin), that could put me on disability! I mean really, I can die for my country on their orders but can't get some protection at the Circle K or Little Dukes?!

Just had to vent. Install the mirrors-- anarchy cannot exist when it has to see itself. Oh, and Coke and Pepsi are the same thing (wouldn't that blow you mind? I bet your corpus collosum would commit suicide if you ever found that out to be undeniably true... hello, research grant anybody?)

Sippin' on gin and juice,
~The Styles