As an animal lover, I have spent a lot of time wondering what pet I should get once I move to Bloomington. Assuming I'm allowed to have any kind of pet I want, I have narrowed it down to three options that excite me to no end.
In no particular order:
1.) A senegal parrot named "Skibb," short for Skibbereen in County Cork, Ireland. Senegal parrots are little feathery balls of fun and were the original pirate parrots, hence making them sweet by definition.
2.) A cat named "Dodgy Pete II," although I'd probably drop the II because although there was an original D.P., he was only in my posession for around 48 hours and really did nothing great to earn himself such a fantastic name.
3.) A monkey named Capt. Fantastic OR Dr. Danger, and her first name would be Q. I say it would be a she because if anyone has ever watched the hit TV show "Friends," you may recall how Ross had to get rid of his spider monkey, Marcel, because it became too agressive and tried to mate with people's legs. I think there was a lot of biting, too.
I really feel that any of these options would be great, though schematically the monkey might have to be ruled out. Still, I'd like feedback. A monkey would be awesome because they can drink beer and smoke cigars. Also, she could wear power suits or something and even a headband... Wow, there are so many possibilities. Where can I procure a monkey, anyway? Someone do the necessary legwork and I'll follow through after I finish one or more of the following:
1.) My children's book.
2.) My Real World application video (note: need a haircut and more sex appeal, plus a newish digital camcorder to make the magic happen).
3.) Kick-off tour with my techno group, Survive Style 5, or else with my 2nd band side-project, sound/fury. Nick Savage is the /.
Goodnight and prepare for some big news coming out of San Diego, which as anyone who watches movies knows is German for "whale's vagina." And no, I can't make this stuff up.
~Matty "Styles" Spangler
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1 comment:
mattystyles. good news for you:
i saw on the news this week, one of those sappy,feel-good, blips that Fox is so known for...
that monkeys are trained to do all the things that the severly disabled can not- they go to school and learn to fill cups of water, open doors, pick lice from the disabled's hair, etc. they enjoy peanutbutter as a reward.
anyways, they need to be 10 or so before they can go into 'service' so you could be a foster father for one of these amazing creatures. + they pay u to do it!
think about it...
we could also train him to steal watches and do keg stands. maur 101 style.
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