Sweet Nostalgia

The other day while I was busy making delectible cookies as per usual, I suddenly remembered one the the best things ever: maple leaf cookies! When I was not but a wee lad growing up on the rough and tumble South side of Saint Cloud, I used to eat them all the time. their general make-up: two maple leaf shaped cookies that sandwished amazing maple icing in the middle. I'd let those bad boys float in milk until right before they sank and would thn devour them. In that case, soggy did equal goodness.

I tried buying some right after work, though it was to no avail. It got me thinking... How many awesome things that I had as a kid no longer exist anymore? I've broken it down and compiled a list; someone has to get a committee started to bring these lost treasure back!

Category 1: Cartoons

After having worked at the Boys and Girls Club for 5 summers straight beginning in high school, I know a lot about the current fad cartoons and products. In particular, Pokemon was far and away the most popular thing and good ol' Talahi Elementary (where I worked) right after oxygen and slightly ahead of "accidents." Not only are the cartoons and movies huge, but there are around 31 video games involving Pokemon monsters and even a collectible card game (CCG) that kids spend $Benjamins on just to get holograms and other crap. Good job, Japan, you're ruining our country.

Back in the day, we had classics like Duck Tales, The Rescue Rangers (http://acan12.23.free.fr/rescue/images_index/logo.gif), Fraggle Rock (http://www.flimrigt.se/bilder/2006/03/fragglerock.jpg), G.I. Joe, Tale Spin, Count Duckula, David the freaking Gnome (Swift still rules!), etc. to entertain us. Sam omann sometimes reminded me of Wembley from Fraggle Rock, usually when he was really drunk or really hung over. It was fun. There were morals to the stories and we weren't bombarded with ads for cards or video games or anything-- it was all about the love, man. What the hell has happened here? I would still watch those non-seizure causing cartoons if they were on, but no, they have been set aside to make way for the new era of televison. I'll give you a clue... it sucks.

Category 2: Food + Libations

Dr. Slice was the money melon of soda pop. It was novel, had a sexy can with an orange slice on it that looked as though it was bursting with flavor, and never failed to satisfy (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/3/37/DrSlice.png). Why the hell was it discontinued? I once saw chocolate flavored pop someplace. If that can exist, why the hell can't Dr. Slice? I am forced to make it myself (57% D.P., 43% Slice) either from cans or by asking for a special blend at Burger Time in Waite Park. Let's just say on one occasion my request was confused for something else and I got a very "special" burger that made me see sounds and taste pictures...

A few other awesome beverages that were ripped from the shelves like the new ticke-Me-Elmo was this Christmas (though not by consumers, but by companies): Crystal Pepsi, Jolt (though I saw it in Ireland in Naas; note: never even tried it, but I respect that it existed), and O.K. Soda. I think my friend and I added about $103 to his phone bill by calling that hotline. What the hell, it was worth it!

Remember Astropops? They were the best. Multi-layered, part candy and part weapon. And totally necessary, especially in today's schools.

Note: Mr. Pibb is dead.

Category 3: Apparrel

Hypercolor shirts were awesome. I don't think anyone, not even the makers, knew what made them work. Still, it was an exciting time for everyone in grade school who was lucky enough to rock one at some point in their elementary tenure. Snap bracelets were fun. So what if they cut a few kids to the bone? They even had one with a zebra pattern. So cool... Wind pants were great, too, though if you went down in gym class, they'd get a hole burned in them and it would sometimes stick to your skin. People also had lightning bolts, lines, etc. shaved into their heads. Hell, I had Michael Jordan's "Jumpman" logo shaved into the back of my head in the 3rd grade. Funny thing is, that was a really solid move for me socially.

Kids today have no chance! They aren't interested in the science behind their clothes (I thank hypercolor over and over again for instilling that in me) and have crappy cartoons with no moral foundations in them. In Pokemon, kids learn to poach rare and exotic animals and then use them to fight! Isn't that illegal in this country, minus Alabama? Dr. Slice, while it may have been linked to early onset diabetes in children, was maybe even worth the risk. Mix one up per my directions and you'll see what I mean. I guess as long as I can track down those maple leaf cookies, this will all be an easier pill to swallow...