When you think of a metalhead, tell me what comes to mind? Stone-washed jeans or a mullet, maybe a guy who's evolutionarily one step behind? Well, when Rob Halford (lead singer of Judas Priest) came out of the closet, it may not have been a big thing. But today, we're one step closer to hearing the metal dudes sing, "I wanna be, I wanna be a homosexual!"
Statistics say the chance of being gay is more than one in ten. That means that there's a 40%chance that one of the guys in Pantera likes men! So I think it's safe to say that many more metal guys are homosexual, though this may frustrate the gay community. Why would they want some ugly metalhead to be available?
See, I told you! Metal dudes are gay, too. And I haven't seen the proof so far that your sexuality determines the way you play guitar. I'd love for everyone in heavy metal to be homosexual, if only to make those Nazi fucking pricks in Slayer just a little more uncomfortable.
~Matt, as he drinks a 600 mL bottle of Harbin, a delicious Chinese lager beer.
Note: Content adapted from the song "Hats Off to Halford" by the one-man band Atom & His Package, though it reiterates the stance I've had in numerous conversations with Matt "Death Metal Or Die" Prom and Ali "Ozzy" O'Brom.
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